dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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