they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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