good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
