then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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