Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
