I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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