What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
