I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize