I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
