your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
