we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
