right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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