I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
