we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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