Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
