I hope mine doesn't look like that
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They took my balls.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
