My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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