i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
