omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
