THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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