hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
