You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
