Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
