i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
