i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
