Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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