the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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