True but thats because hes a fetus.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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