Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
now i know why i became what i already was.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
