there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
