Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
