Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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