I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
