Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
