I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
