i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am one with the molecules
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
