I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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