And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
