So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
