im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
