You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
