Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize