I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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