? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
