Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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