He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Pooping to opera.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
