I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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