i just google imaged poop.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
