I molested 6 butterflies tonight
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
