No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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