So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
