i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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