I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
