so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
