Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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