I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
its liver damage thursday
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
