we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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