just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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