they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
