Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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