Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you had me at cake vodka
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
