North Korea, Best Korea!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
