Where did you get a picture of my penis
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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