No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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