Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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