Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize