I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
