I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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