He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
